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A jar of Marmite, a Fruit Wizard, and a Talking Sock Monkey

Yes, this is another one of those "Incredible Journey" stories about to begin ...

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Baby shoes, a Yardbirds crow, a giant jar of Marmite.

I think there's a lesson here for everyone.

Hot Doggies! It's the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile!

During my lunch break yesterday I was honored to witness the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile in motion as it sped down Capitol Blvd. in Tumwater, Washington. Managed to get a couple quick phone photos of it. I will resist the too easy impulse to use a lot of condiment puns.

See? Every day in every way I am getting better and better.

Anyway.

One of my fantasies has always been to hijack the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile and then lead the police on a merry high speed chase. The thought of terrified pedestrians running and screaming from a giant hurtling hot dog somehow pleases my dark side. Of course I would bring a banjo player with me, who would play humorous high speed chase music during the episode. The event would end with me plowing into a hot dog stand (O the irony!).

In the 1960s there was a TV ad with a jingle for Oscar Mayer that was quite effective. I mean, here I am a half century after this bit of marketing came out and I can still recall the lyrics:

Oh I'd love to be an Oscar Mayer wiener
That is what I'd truly like to be
'Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener
Everyone would be in love with me

A rather disturbing bunch of lyrics on many levels, eh? Even as a kid I wondered why would anyone want to be lower on the food chain? I couldn't figure out why people would be so desperate for a love that would only last a minute or so as they were mashed up by giant teeth, swallowed, and then forced to have their remains travel through their killer's digestive system. 

If Marmite ever hits the U.S. market with a Marmitemobile, I want to be the driver. Now that is product I can be evangelical about.

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My ancient microwave began to make noises and create light effects worthy of Dr. Frankenstein's laboratory before it finally croaked. The last thing I cooked in it was a Marmite cheese dip I invented.

So now the toaster is my chief cooking tool. Meanwhile, the microwave is moved to the garage, aka, the Museum of Broken Appliances.

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Marmite, butter, and peanut butter on hot waffles. A taste treat that can't be beat. Using a paper plate only enhances the atmosphere. Hey, normally I just eat over the sink so this is fanciness.

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Peanut butter, ketchup, mustard, and Marmite on a hamburger bun.

It was quite good, actually.

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I Love Marmite!

The Real Breakfast of Champions

So here's my original recipe for good breakfast chow. Get some frozen beef sausages, frozen chocolate chip waffles, and Marmite.

Marmite, by the way, has recently become an illegal product in Denmark. Their loss. Some say it tastes like salty motor oil, but I say it is one of the most excellent food products on the planet.


Toss the waffles in a toaster, then after they fill your kitchen with an aroma of toasty chocolate goodness, slather a generous portion of Marmite on one side of one waffle. As you can see in the photo, I have the super big size jar of Marmite thanks to my brother Bryan bringing it to me from England.


Microwave 3 sausages for 1 minute, 50 seconds, then place them on the Marmite, which acts as an amazing adhesive.


And viola! A better than neat taste treat and a perfect way to start a new day. I usually have 2 or 3 of these a week for breakfast.