The Woodrow Wilson Song

Woodrow Wilson

Was a bit of a prick.

Up his butt

Was a great big stick.

And not the kind 

That Teddy liked to carry.

It was a rod of righteousness

And frankly pretty scarey.

On the one hand

He was racist

On the other hand

Progressive.

After the Great War

His hunt for Reds

Was too Excessive.

He fought

For the League of Nations.

Then 

He had a stroke.

He got a "F"

in Political relations.

And his spirit

Broke.

Maybe if he hadn't

Been such a goody-goody,

More people

Would've been his friend

And hailed him

As "Woody."

Morty Comix # 2503

 

Morty Comix # 2503 is a little guy, a microcomic. It was drawn on the birthday of our 13th president, Millard Fillmore, born Jan. 7, 1800. I tucked it into a loose bit of rubber moulding along the floor in a corner of the Post Office in McCleary, Washington. 

There are no less than five Morty Comix in secret places in the McCleary Post Office as of tonight when I checked my PO Box. A couple of them have been there since Spring.

Although there are parts of the world out there where I still see Morty Comix remaining where I deposited the art months ago, this place has the highest concentration of the little devils. So interesting how many public places have anonymous pockets where no one ever looks.

I used to just post them on the bulletin board there, but then I became aware someone was systematically taking my stuff down, ripping it up, and throwing it in the trash. It's the ripping it up part that intrigues me. Sometimes I think McCleary would've made a great locale for a Roger Corman-Vincent Price film. We have no shortage of weird people. Fortunately, I can prove I am not one of them.

When I was 9 years old our farm house outside of McCleary burned. It didn't burn completely, it was just gutted to an uninhabitable degree. So we lived in a mobile home for 8 glorious years. When I was in college I came back to the farm one summer, in 1975, and took down the burned house to salvage and sell the old growth lumber that built the dwelling in order to earn more $$ for school. I recall finding a dead mouse in a bottle and writing my college mate Lynda Barry about it. The rodent could see freedom but could not attain it. Something like that.

Anyway, in between the 1st and 2nd floors, where the pipes for the gas lights originally ran, I found this wood planer lying on its side. Someone had built over this thing. The blade is still sharp. I have this tool to this day. The last time it was used Woodrow Wilson was still President, I am guessing.

So, maybe someday someone will find a Morty Comix in the same way. A little time capsule art bomb. My challenge will be to find more difficult hiding places in 2013 and to make the distribution method more unusual.

Cryogenic Comix # 6

1st edition, 1998, 15 copies, green cover, yellow guts, regular digest size.

1st Danger Room Reprint Edition, June 2005, 5 copies, all yellow, regular digest size.

There were two short comix I drew in the early 1980s: Fun in Acapulco and Pacemaker Defect. I can tell some of these drawings were prep work for stories in one or both of those titles. Arnie Wormwood shows up on 3 pages here. The gentleman with the beard and glasses is Dean True, who was once a neighbor to one of Ernest Borgnine's ex-wives. Page 7 has, for reasons I have long since forgotten, drawings of Woodrow Wilson and Herbert Hoover. That's Al Capone on the bottom of page 6.