Morty Comix # 2671

Morty Comix # 2671 was drawn on my half-swept driveway using special Spongebob Squarepants chalk. It felt quite prehistoric to be doing this, and I realized the image was a bit on the basic/primal side. Hard to draw much detail with the implements and "canvas" on hand. By the next day our famous Washington State rain washed it completely away. When the rain returns after a dry summer we Mossbacks are happy.

Spongebob Omen

 

So on Monday morning I get out of the car at the parking lot at work and find this lone Spongebob Squarepants/Sandy Cheeks playing card on the ground, greeting me. I think Fate is trying to send me a message-- but what?

Favorite Movie Quotes: 15 Minutes

"I love America. No one is responsible for what they do."

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Rose's Valentine to Dad

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Resistance is Useless

My new coffee grinder came with an instruction booklet that included the warning: "Do not attempt to defeat the cover interlock mechanism."



But did I pay heed? Unfortunately not. Instead I took this as a challenge.

And the result was humiliation and shame.


First I attempted to threaten the grinder with a cane but realized I was resorting to violence. And that will never do.


So I challenged the grinder to a gentlemanly game of Operation (The SpongeBob Squarepants edition!) and the grinder won every time!

"Do not attempt to defeat the cover interlock mechanism."

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Whenever I walk through dangerous neighborhoods in urban areas, whenever I go into the most Neanderthal of rural bars at night, whenever I go underground to interview dangerous fugitives and bloodthirsty terrorists-- I always carry my Spongebob Squarepants lunchbag and know no harm will befall me.

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I was sad when my Spongebob Squarepants foam soap came to an end, but at least I can keep the bottle around. And hey, the eyes and teeth on the label light up in the dark! It always makes me feel a little more secure at night looking up on the shelf and seeing this happy gaze illuminated in the nocturnal void.

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The day after my Spongebob Squarepants electric toothbrush died, I used up the last of my Spongebob Squarepants toothpaste. It was the second day in a row of almost unbearable sadness. Oh how I miss that bubblegummy clean taste. I know, I know, I could always go out and buy more, but it won't be the same.

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He might be smiling, but for me it was a very somber day indeed when my Spongebob Squarepants electric toothbrush finally bit the Big One. Goodbye my toothbrush. I knew thee, a fellow of infinite jest ...

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