James Abram Garfield
Wasn't really such a very bad guy
He would've been a good US CEO
But he didn't get much time to try
A nut named Charlie Guiteau
Went to the Prez to see him
And shot him with an ivory-handled gun
'Cause he thought it would look good in a museum
It was the docs who killed Garfield
By probing under his epiderm
With unsanitized instruments
They didn't believe in such a thing as a germ
