Morty Comix # 2640

Morty Comix # 2640 was placed inside of monograph about Chester Alan Arthur and returned to the shelves at a public library in the Olympia area.

The Chester Alan Arthur Song

O Chester Arthur
O Chest Chest Arthur
O Chester Arthur
O Chest Chest Chest Arthur
O Chester, Ah-Lawn, Arthurrrrrrrrr

He learned that Roscoe was a louse
He sold the furniture in the White House
He was a dandy, his duds weren't old and worn
And it is quite possible he wasn't native born.

And when he walked into a room
Everybody said,
"Who?'

O Chester Arthur
O Chest Chest Arthur
O Chester Arthur
O Chest Chest Chest Arthur
O Chester, Ah-Lawn, Arthurrrrrrrrr

The Millard Fillmore Song

Oh I love Millard Fillmore

He’s on the ball

He’s got the scoop

Oh I love Millard Fillmore

He’s so perfect

He doesn’t poop.

He’s got two eyes, a nose and a mouth

He bent over backwards to appease the South

Oh I love Millard Fillmore

Even though he was two inches shorter than Chester Alan Arthur

 

City Limits Gazette # Bowling With Fred (Nov. 1991)

The Bil Keane Watch, some eerie Fillmore/Arthur coincidences, bad cover versions of I'm Only Sleeping, I'm So Tired, In My Life, Inner Light, It Won't Be Long, It's All Too Much, It's Only Love, I've Got a Feeling, I've Just Seen a Face, Julia, Lady Madonna, Let it Be.

A List of Strange and Eerie Coincidences of Cosmic Significance Concerning the Lives of Millard Fillmore and Chester Alan Arthur

Full title: A List of Strange and Eerie Coincidences of Cosmic Significance Concerning the Lives of Millard Fillmore and Chester Alan Arthur : Earthshaking Evidence Which Will Change the Course of American Historiography.

Unrevised, marked-up, rough 1st edition, 1987, blue cover, regular digest size.

2nd edition, somewhat revised and bit less messy than the 1st edition, 1988, white cover, regular digest size.

I have no idea how many of these are out there, but it can't be too many. The 2nd edition, I think, was printed because a library in Montana actually requested one via interlibrary loan, so I cooked up a new edition with a very small run.

This was churned out on my old typewriter and looks it. The idea became a full exhibit at The Evergreen State College Library in late 1987. I later used most of the exciting facts as part of the story in How Two Ex-Presidents Went Up My Nose.

In my world view of predestination there is no such thing as coincidence or free will. So these Millard/Chester facts are not as eerie as they seem.

Sarah believes the world would be better off not knowing these Fillmore/Arthur facts. To broadly paraphrase her, she thinks civilization is not ready for this cosmic connection.

How Two Ex-Presidents Went Up My Nose!

1st edition, 1994, 40 copies, ivory cover, regular digest size.

1st Danger Room Reprint Edition, July 2005, 5 copies, red cover, regular digest size.

I have long been fascinated by the eerie "coincidences" in the lives of presidents Millard Fillmore and Chester Alan Arthur (Arthur's middle name was pronounced "Ah-lawn" in case you wondered, and some historians believe he was born in Quebec, not Vermont. Truman claimed Arthur kept a prostitute in the White House). Arthur had made an appearance in one of the first two issues of Cranium Frenzy in 1982. I'm too lazy to look up which issue it was. In fact, it is hardly worth the effort of typing this sentence saying it is hardly worth the effort.

Anyway, I had put together a pamphlet on their eerie "coincidences" in the mid-1980s which I'll no doubt be posting here in the future. It served as the source for many of the astounding trivia bombs dropped in this comic.

Trivia:

Page 9: One branch of my relatives were big wheels in the Free Will Baptist Church. Before that, up in the Cumberland Mountains of Virginia, a part of the family were called Hardshell Baptists, they were extreme fundamentalists. For example, one of my great-grandfathers believed the Earth was square because the Bible made a reference to the four corners of the World. And yes, this was still in the 20th century. The other Virginia Cumberland branch were nonbeliever criminals, murders, black marketers, bootleggers, etc. so I guess it all balanced out.

Pages 21-23: Totally true event. I really did inhale a dead person. And people wonder why I choose a sedentary life, safe and snug within the boundaries of my own home.