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A jar of Marmite, a Fruit Wizard, and a Talking Sock Monkey

Yes, this is another one of those "Incredible Journey" stories about to begin ...

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Hey, it is one of those "Incredible Journey" tales involving a tropical bird, a dial phone, and Monkey Parts Guy as they walk across America in an effort to get home!

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Monkey Parts Display

Everywhere I look, there is a cat

"Everywhere I look, there is a cat" is a saying I have found myself repeating in this house of four cats. They hate when I am alone in a room and it is almost like they rotate the role of "who will monitor Mr. Foodgiving Man now?"

And sometimes out of the corner of my eye, I see what I think is a cat but it turns to be something else, like the 25 year old cactus over the kitchen sink.

 Or the coffee maker

 A pair of rubber boots

A chainsaw carved bear with a welcome sign which I have moved to the back yard. I was afraid when I had it out front people might think I really meant it.

 A toy monkey that somehow moves around this house on its own

 Fancy couch pillows

Everywhere I look, there is a cat.

Morty Comix # 2509

 Morty Comix # 2509 gets to travel. Let's let Fate decide where it goes.

I decided to once again employ a monkey part in the method of choosing a new home for a Morty Comix.

Charlie and Dreamer decided right away they were going to "help."

Then I took out a clamp that is humorously shaped like dentures. Ha ha! And I tied a string to it. Charlie and Dreamer had to inspect this as well.

This novelty was clamped to one of the blades of my oversized living room ceiling fan.

 On the other end of the string I tied the monkey part.

At this point I brought out a recently acquired puzzle map of the United States. Since I plan on developing and perfecting this Fatalist method of releasing Morty Comix into the world, I thought it would be a good idea to invest in this. Entertainment for some, a tool of serious art distribution for me.

Tipping the puzzle box on its side with the pieces barely balancing on top of my comfy chair, the other half of the box waits below to catch the chips that will fall where they may.

I turn on the fan, the monkey part circles the room, gaining momentum and height. Meanwhile, Dreamer plays with his new catnip banana.

 In short order, the monkey part hits the box, knocking the puzzle pieces asunder.

 Five states landed in the other half of the box: Alaska, California, Hawaii, Louisiana, and New Mexico.

So I propped up each state with a cup and waited to see how long it would take for a cat to knock over at least one. Within a minute Charlie obliged.

 He knocked over the two great states of California and Louisiana.

So I set up two on a small table and shot foam darts until one of them was knocked out. And California it shall be.

The dice were rolled, and the number three took me to the Golden State's third largest city, San Jose. This is very strange. This is the second time San Jose has been chosen at random! The first occasion was with Morty Comix # 2403. Actually, this is sort of deliciously bizarre but it kind of mildly freaks me out too.

In looking at a San Jose street map, I zeroed in on Lundy Avenue. Why? My middle name is Londy, but it is pronounced as if it was spelled Lundy. Back in the family stomping grounds in the Cumberland Mountains of Virginia, Lundy is not an unusual name. My grandfather, Londy Willis, gained that unusual spelling because he had a twin brother, London Willis (there were three sets of twins in that family!)

So, Lundy Avenue was my choice. I used the Google street view and at random chose a label business.

 

So off you go, little Morty Comix # 2509. Have a great trip!

Morty Comix # 2488

We had our family holiday gift exchange a couple days before Christmas. Susan gave me a potato gun with two spuds to use as ammo.

It does NOT shoot up to 50 feet, as we shall see. However, I am looking forward to years of service. We'll get back to this gift in a bit, but let's move on to ...

... a somewhat revolting present from Bryan and Zach. These dismembered plastic monkey parts are in a bag. And as if that wasn't creepy enough, the monkey's eyes on the severed monkey head BLINK!
 

Stay with me now. All will be be revealed by the end. I made a grid with 50 little squares on a sheet of cardboard.

Then I arranged the disgusting monkey parts on a TV tray. 

The grid was placed under and behind the tray.

I shot several potato pellets at the monkey parts, which were precariously balanced at the edge of the tray. Although the little spud bullets hit the targets, they lack the required velocity to knock them to the floor. So when the label declared "Shoots Harmless Potato Pellets," they meant it.

So it was time to haul out a more advanced technology to achieve my goal. I went to the toybox and extracted the gyroscope.

 You can tell the monkey's expression is politely apprehensive at this juncture.

 I let the gyroscope rip

It did not fail me as it knocked over two revolting monkey parts. A foot landed on numbers 27, 28, and 32.

 

Now it was time for the next phase, but I knew the potato gun would not be able to do the job. Mr. Spud himself told me this was all a half-baked idea anyway, and he took his leave. But I thanked him for helping me with the initial parts of this project.

  

So I made a much simpler grid, narrowing the field to three.

And this time I brought out the heavy artillery,  foam darts!

 

It took a few tries, but in less than 3 minutes I knocked a repulsive monkey hand into the grid. It landed on number 32.
 

32. That means Minnesota, the 32nd state, admitted to the Union in 1858. I've been over Minnesota in a passenger airline but have never set foot there, but hopefully someday I'll be able to pay a visit.

None of my ancestors parked there on their way West in the pioneer era (but a few were next door in Wisconsin in the 1850s-1860s).

Minnesota has a great tradition of creative comic art, was one of the hotspots in the Newave era, and today remains a prominent place for our brand of comix. Meeting Matt Feazell at SPACE 2011 was a real honor and even though he now lives in Michigan, I nominate him for Minnesota's Cartoonist Laureate for his amazing past contributions.

 Anyway, I rolled the dice the for the next step. As you can see, the number was 7. That's lucky!

And the 7th largest city in Minnesota is Plymouth. I consulted a map of that city and decided to just pick a street name I liked, and Cheshire was my choice. A co-worker calls me the Cheshire Cat and I admire that character.

So I randomly selected an address on that street, which turns out to be home to a business enterprise. I'm mailing it tomorrow morning. This issue of Morty Comix will probably be tossed in the trash or recycling, but I hope you readers enjoyed the narrative. Actually, in many ways, these blogposts are the real Morty Comix, the hardcopy product is residue.

Obscuro comix in action!