The fate of Morty Comix # 2515 is rather involved, so settle in and read this tale of wonder.
I set a thin plank above the living room floor
On this plank I precariously set puzzle pieces for all 50 states
Then I took out some potent catnip in order to gain assistance from my little friends
The catnip was sprinkled along the plank
All set to go
And within minutes Charlie was on the job. I wanted to choose among the very last states left on the plank. Washington was one of the very first ones he sent to the floor.
Seeing that he had started the process, he decided to take a break.
Since it almost time to hit the hay anyway, I made a choice to just leave it for the night. By the next morning I noticed more pieces had been knocked to the floor in the course of the evening.
That morning Dreamer and Buster decided to check out this scene and add to the carnage. Dreamer's tail really did a number on many of the states remaining on the plank.
In fact, one end of the plank was knocked to the floor and the other barely held up by a tiny bit of the corner.
Buster inspects Dreamer's handiwork.
It was at this point I left for the day.
When I returned home from work, here's what the plank looked like.
Three states were left touching the top of the plank: Florida, Oregon, and Alaska
Oh, wait, I found Arizona under Alaska. Make that four states!
As it turned out after examining the earlier photos, I was in error.
Arizona was merely where part of Alaska landed on the floor.
Then it was time to haul out the old Washington State House of Representatives Cafeteria tray and some wooden pegs.
The tray was placed on the kitchen floor and the four states were balanced on top of the pegs. I was going to let a cat narrow down the contenders, but this time I would pick the states that were knocked to the floor.
Charlie obliged within a minute, by knocking Florida to the floor.
He was enjoying batting around The Sunshine State so much on the linoleum I was afraid he was going to knock the puzzle piece under my dead dishwasher, so I had to rescue it.
So for good measure, he reacted by returning to the tray and punching down Arizona.
Tired out by this activity, he returned to his duties as the sentinel of the kitchen window.
Meanwhile, Hettie, who is the smartest creature under this roof, observed all this foolishness with a bit a haughty disdain.
So it came to Arizona and Florida. I decided to enlist the help of my cartoonist comrade who also dates back to the Newave Comix days,
Richard Krauss. As an Oregon resident, he knows we Pacific Northwesterners have to do something to keep occupied in these dark and rainy winter days.
Actually, all I did was ask him to choose either Arizona or Florida and explain why, but he went all out in the spirit of this random art distribution, which demonstrates how contagious it can be. When he was done I had a name and address. Here is Richard's response:
Of
course, I'm honored to play "Where is the Morty Comix going to be
sent?" The rules of this particular edition are somewhere in Arizona or
Florida.
First
thought was to flip through Delaine Derry Green's Not My Small Diary
#17 to select a city. Her contributors span the country and she lists
their addresses at the bottom of each page. There would likely be cities
in the two states to narrow the selection.
Another
thought was to take a character name from my novelette in progress,
Walt Hutchison, and see if the interwebs point to anyone. Bezango!
There's a real estate agent in Fort Myers. And Linked-In lists a full 19
candidates. The Route Salesman at Bimbo Bakeries sounded like a winner,
but unfortunately his location in the greater New York area was an
instant disqualifier. I wonder if he'd consider moving?
I discussed the game with my family. Ideas of using Pinterest and six degrees of separation were discussed, without conclusion.
I searched "How to make a random selection" using Duck Duck Go. Too scientific.
Drawn
to Florida, I downloaded a spreadsheet of population data from the
Office of Economic & Demographic Research, scrambled the counties,
closed my eyes, held my breath and blindly placed a cursor on Pasco
County, population 464,697 by way of 2010 count. Now, we're getting
somewhere.
A
new search provided Pasco County, Florida results. The official site,
leading the results nearly sucked me in, but no, Morty wouldn't go
there.
Pasco
County was created in 1887. It was named after Samuel Pasco, who served
in the Confederate Army and the U.S. Senate from 1887 to 1899. Towns
include Anclote, Blanton, Dade City, Earnestville, Fort Dade, Macon and
San Antonio.
The name Dade City is appealing and it's the county seat to boot. Population 6,449 in 2011.
Scrolling
results for Dade City, Florida, the entry listing Bee Removal looked
interesting. Turns out the resident beekeeper there is the lucky
candidate. He is not actually located in Dade City, but he serves the
area's bee removal needs and his company is located in Pasco County, in
Lakeland.
