See? Every day in every way I am getting better and better.
Anyway.
One of my fantasies has always been to hijack the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile and then lead the police on a merry high speed chase. The thought of terrified pedestrians running and screaming from a giant hurtling hot dog somehow pleases my dark side. Of course I would bring a banjo player with me, who would play humorous high speed chase music during the episode. The event would end with me plowing into a hot dog stand (O the irony!).
In the 1960s there was a TV ad with a jingle for Oscar Mayer that was quite effective. I mean, here I am a half century after this bit of marketing came out and I can still recall the lyrics:
Oh I'd love to be an Oscar Mayer wiener
That is what I'd truly like to be
'Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener
Everyone would be in love with me
A rather disturbing bunch of lyrics on many levels, eh? Even as a kid I wondered why would anyone want to be lower on the food chain? I couldn't figure out why people would be so desperate for a love that would only last a minute or so as they were mashed up by giant teeth, swallowed, and then forced to have their remains travel through their killer's digestive system.
If Marmite ever hits the U.S. market with a Marmitemobile, I want to be the driver. Now that is product I can be evangelical about.
