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This is "Chef Pizza Monster." Apparently the mascot of Noble Roman's Take-n-Bake Pizza, based somewhere not in the Pacific Northwest. I have never seen this promo out here on the NW Edge of America before today. Since this company has been around awhile, those of you in the Midwest might be more familiar with this image.

Some time, somewhere, some one thought this was a good advertising image.

Uh, OK.

I'm sure the pizza is good and the company has enjoyed success in other parts of the country, but, I'm sorry, this creature does not inspire me to purchase this product. It looks like a Muppet on an acid trip. Or perhaps they are using magic mushrooms as a topping.

In fact, this thing looks very much like the mythological creatures the native people of the Northwest Coast of North America used to carve into totems. And frankly, those images scare the Hell out of me. If you live out here where we have volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, tsunamis and "extratropical cyclones" (Columbus Day 1962), surrounded by thick jungle-like rainforests where creatures like wild Russian boars (who have tusks like this guy) and Sasquatch roam in a dramatic landscape, the thought of a cryptozoological animal with a chef hat serving food is sort of unsettling.

And of course us old guys recall the Purple People Eater. This mascot reminds of us of that song.

I love pizza, and maybe next time I visit that store I'll try this offering. But it will be in spite of the creepy creature.