"Value this time in your life kids, because this is the time in your life when you still have your choices, and it goes by so fast. When you're a teenager you think you can do anything, and you do. Your twenties are a blur. Thirties, you raise your family, you make a little money and you think to yourself, 'What happened to my twenties?' Forties, you grow a little pot belly, you grow another chin. The music starts to get too loud and one of your old girlfriends from high school becomes a grandmother. Fifties, you have a minor surgery. You'll call it a procedure, but it's a surgery. Sixties, you'll have a major surgery, the music is still loud but it doesn't matter because you can't hear it anyway. The seventies, you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale, you start eating dinner at two o'clock in the afternoon, you'll have lunch around ten, breakfast the night before. And you spend most of your time wandering around malls looking for the ultimate soft yogurt and muttering 'How come the kids don't call? How come the kids don't call?' The eighties, you'll have a major stroke, and you end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who your wife can't stand but who you call mama. Any questions?"
[Reviewed in Cheaper by the Dozen 72]
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