Morty Comix # 2378

Morty Comix # 2378 was placed inside a book of Christmas music which in turn was placed inside a piano bench somewhere in Olympia, Washington. The whole adventure was documented by Ron Austin.

Weird Gifts From My Brother

I try to weed these things out every once in awhile, but for years my brother Bryan has exhibited a strange taste in holiday and birthday gifts. Some examples:


Bad albums are a staple (yes, I still play vinyl). This one is right up there among the worst, Come On In! by the New Hope Singers International, "A musical collage from Jamaican calypso to the sounds of ancient Scotland to American rock." This group was sponsored by the Rev. Sun Myung Moon.


That's a picture of little Stevie sitting on a kiddie potty in Spokane, Washington back in the 1950s. The potty is adorned the head of some kind of poultry. I guess that makes it partly poultry. Get enough of these together and you can throw a partly poultry potty party.

Anyway, why is this photo encapsulated in a Kellogg's Corn Flakes place mat?


When I almost threw out this papier-mâché model of planet Earth (made by my brother when he was in grade school) as we were cleaning out the family farm in order to sell it a few years ago, Bryan stopped me and made a big deal of presenting it to me as a precious relic. And I, perhaps foolishly, accepted it.

My own name plate! How thoughtful.


Hey! Look! What every household needs, a concave Jesus face!

I think this is supposed to be something you can use in creating an illusion with light, either that or it is a really freaky gelatin mold.


My phone camera is not the greatest when it comes to close-ups. This amputee Leprechaun wasn't so lucky, apparently. Note the bloody stump. Maybe he was a leper, thus making him a Leperchaun. Also, leaving the tag with an obviously doctored inflated price is another frequent theme in these gifts as a demonstration of how "priceless" they are. In this case the cheap piece of crap was supposedly purchased for at least 22 bucks.

Ruth loved clowns so much she kept one in a jar!

Where does he get this stuff?

Santa has an array of little finishing nails in his beard. I think this is supposed to be an advent calendar, but the effect is quite creepy.


There has been much, much more over the years. I do look forward to receiving these fine items and perhaps I should start cruising garage sales now in order to return the favor next holiday season.

Phone photo 1031

Washington State Legislative Building

Merry Christmas! My 1996 Oldsmobile Ciera Gets ProbablyTotalled!

The best car I've ever had got creamed Christmas morning by a driver who was behind the wheel of a pickup in spite of the fact her license was suspended. Oh, and needless to say she didn't have auto insurance. It's a good thing we cartoonists have a sense of humor and appreciation of the absurd-- it helps us survive on many levels.

No one was hurt, so far as we can tell, but I am sort of sore. If I had been in one of those modern econoboxes instead of my beautiful tank, I suspect there would've been more injuries.

It is possible this wonderful vehicle can be saved, but it doesn't look good. I was really hoping we could grow old together. This auto became part of the family in 1997 when it was only a year old and had about 32000 on the odometer. If this car winds up in a wrecking yard, it will have a lot of great stories to tell when the metal hulks gather 'round the campfire and swap tales in the dead of night.

Here's a brief gallery of my faithful Old Gray who has provided it's drivers and passengers with almost 260000 miles of smoooth riding. The Olds now rests in front on my house, waiting for the verdict from my insurance company. And Doc, give the bad news to me straight, I can take it.

Phone photo 1023

Happy Holidays from McCleary, Washington!

The old locomotive and horse drawn fire wagon got spiffed up for this year

Phone photo 1022

One of the better works of public art by James Abbott, Grays Harbor County muralist. A fairly late piece on display in El Ranchon restaurant in Elma, Washington (highly recommended for dining out by the way, one of my faves). Seems like a fitting image to post this Christmas Eve.

Phone photo 1019

Christmas, ca. 1964

Thanksgiving is over, let the Seasons Greetings greetings begin!

I found this large tempera painting on butcher paper in my studio yesterday. I'm guessing this was created about 1964. Santa and an elf are trying to move a stubborn reindeer in the snow. It is no accident the reindeer looks a little bit like a Shetland pony, since at that time we had a herd of about 70 ponies (mostly Shetland, some New Forest) on the family farm.

Christmas card, 1971

A silkscreen job. The card opens in the middle.

Phone photo 669

Christmas Tree in a Box
FREE
Tumwater, Washington

Kaczynski Kristmas

Hey look! It's Theodore Kaczynski, the Unabomber, in an artificial Christmas Tree!

Gosh, that makes me want to break out into a little song:

O Ted and bomb, O Ted and bomb,
You batshit crazy loony!
You blow up folks to make a point
And now you're rotting in The Joint.
O Ted and bomb, O Ted and bomb,
You batshit crazy loony!

Retreads 13

1st edition, December 2005, 25 copies, white cover, regular digest size.

Trivia:

Cover, etc.: There are several images here from the final Morty Comix of the 20th century. Some of them were drawn in Kent, Columbus, and Worthington, Ohio during a business trip in November 1999. Interesting these should surface as I prepare to visit the Buckeye State again next month, but this time for fun-- SPACE!

Page 7: This was an unfinished story originally comprised of perhaps 4 pages. After I decided not to complete the thing I turned it into a Morty Comix.

Page 11: The gentleman with the flute is a portrait of John Barcellona and was used on a poster for an Olympia, Washington concert.

Page 12-13: A guide to Morty Comix originally compiled for OlyBlog.

Page 16-17: Clay Geerdes talked me into interviewing myself, but obviously I wasn't really in the mood at the time.

Page 20: In addition to this newspaper ad I also painted a big sign in color for Salt Creek Farm that had the same basic design as this panel. You can find the owners of this farm on pages 21-23 of How Two Ex-Presidents Went Up My Nose.

Pages 22-23: I miss Loafers in hardcopy and enjoyed drawing covers for them.

Retreads 9

1st edition, November 2005, 25 copies, white cover, regular digest size.

Trivia:

Pages 1-3: Yes, I really did interview J.P. Patches.

Pages 7-11: It is safe to say I did not enjoy the graduate school experience. But then again, I wasn't supposed to. The first panel portrays Lee Norton (who, for reasons I don't want to even begin to guess at, wore a duck decoy on her cranium once) interviewing Morty for an article entitled "Morty Dog, Come Home." This was originally in the Cooper Point Journal and reprinted in Retreads 4.

Pages 23-24: This particular teacher died last Fall at the age of 101. She was a sweetie. I hated algebra and used to draw cartoons on the margins. She would return my papers with the grade: "Math - D, Art -A." As you can see, I attended a pretty wild junior high during the Vietnam War era.

This is the only issue of Retreads still available at Poopsheet.